Lily the Elven Princess
by Artemis-E
Summary: Tired of reading about those carbon-copy elven princesses? Well, Lily sure is different. She develops a crush on, guess who...Legolas! This is a parody, folks, read it if you're looking for a laugh.
1. Recued by a Charming Prince

(Author's note: In case you didn't notice, this is a parody. I'm not making fun of Tolkien, and any names, characters, places, or ideas that are his I fully leave to him. I am not Tolkien, obviously. Anyway, this is supposed to be funny. If it's not…well…heh. I tried. If you don't know what I'm poking fun at here, then you might as well not worry your little head about it. It'll only give you a headache. ^__^ )

There was once a beautiful elven princess from a land called Eerinyahasen-It's either an unknown disease, or maybe it's the name of a kind of tropical fern, I guess.No one had ever heard of this land, as it lay to the far east, somewhere past Mordor, I suspect, but anyway there a great kingdom of elves flourished. It popped out of nowhere. Funny, that. This princess, who's name happened to be Nerinel Lonna Nuyredra Starsong, but for no apparent reason, other than the fact that it sounded pretty, her nickname was Lily.She was a beautiful elf (Duh), as was stated before, who had long silky black hair, with streaks of blue, which were natural of course. Her eyes were emerald green, but they changed color to fit her moods. Maybe she had some chameleon ancestry?

Anyway, Lily was a beautiful little princess.In case you missed that part or forgot.She didn't like being a princess though. She was rebellious in all the ways any princess really is. She refused to wear dresses, she could effortlessly beat any man at archery, and could wield a sword better than anyone else alive. But none of this affected her beauty one bit. No scars on this chick.But she also had magic, but she didn't use it except when it was very necessary since it didn't do to show off, did it? Lily was so charming and kind that she was loved by all who met her, but she had a temper too. Don't they all?She was often called the 'fiery princess' because no one would ever wish to provoke her anger. Why anyone would want to get that close in the first place is a good question.

Lily looked like an elf, but in reality, she was no mere elf, because that would have been just boring. She had unicorn, dragon, phoenix, and mermaid blood in her family. How exactly this had all come about, I know not, and I'm not even going to hazard a guess. Her mother had actually been a Goddess that had come to Middle Earth, but she had given up all of her powers to become mortal. Lily inherited these powers anyway, though. She did not know it, but Galadriel in faraway Lorien was actually her great grandmother, and Luthien was another of her kin. Some said she was even more beautiful than Luthien though. In fact, why don't we just say she's the most beautiful being ever to walk Middle Earth? Yeah, that's about right. But she was very humble about this, and only mentioned it once or twice a day.

Though Lily was somehow perfectly talented with sword, bow, dagger, axe, nun chucks, knives and any other weapon you could possibly imagine(("Except for the almighty spork," comments the author haughtily)), she had other hobbies too. How did she have time for these?Anyway, she loved to draw, write poetry, read, swim, climb trees, cross-stitch, watch movies...whoops, I mean watch plays, go horseback riding, and walking and dancing, and also singing. Her voice was sweet enough to charm men, both immortal and mortal, and put them under a spell. She's part chameleon, part siren. That's interesting. That's why she always sang out in the middle of the woods so that only all the cute fuzzy little woodsy creatures could hear her. Incidentally, many of these fuzzy creatures developed countless mental diseases.

Oh, she had a horse, who was perfectly white except for it's pure sea-blue eyes. Impossible, yes, but since when did she care about biology? Her name was Talatenquetanalia, and she was always called that too. Lily was one of the few people who could actually pronounce this name, which was just as well, because Talatenquetanalia would obey no one but Lily. Talatenquetanalia could run faster than the wind, and any other horse on Middle Earth.In fact, Shadowfax was one of Talatenquetanalia's nephews.

So anyway, one day for no apparent reason, orcs attacked the magnificent kingdom of Eerinyahasen, and somehow destroyed it's beautiful crystal walls and castle. No one knows why, they just showed up and started killing people, razing buildings, and all that unpleasant sort of thing. Lily fought hard, but even after killing hundreds of the orcs, because she really was talented you might remember, she was finally overwhelmed, and taken prisoner. Eh, just because it's a good, terribly over-used and clichéd plot idea.

It was not long before they came to the realm of Mirkwood. Never mind the fact that Mirkwood was several hundreds of miles away and it was a _very_ long way from Isengard, where they were supposed to be going. So they were marching through the woods, heading towards Isengard when suddenly arrows flew out of the trees.All on their own, it seemed. Flying arrows...New species.All of the orcs fell dead, and lo and behold, a perfectly handsome blonde elf, who happened to have gorgeous sapphire blue eyes, stepped out of the trees to kneel at poor Lily's side. She had received grievous wounds from her battles, but somehow had not died of them yet. Also sadly, she had not been caught by one of those Flying Arrows. Princesses have a tendency to avoid things like that, so I've learned.

Lily's horse, the white, sea-blue eyed Talatenquetanalia, came to stand behind Legolas as he carefully gathered up Lily in his arms. Where did the horse come from you ask? Say it with me "p-l-o-t-h-o-l-e." And at this point she'll disappear back into it for a while. I'll give you a cookie if you can figure out why.

Legolas carried her all the way back to the palace. Yes, palace, you heard me.There her cared for her for days and days until she started to get better. He was sitting by her bed side when she first awoke.

"Where am I?" She asked as she turned to look at Legolas, her eyes a gentle deep shade of violet.

"You are in Mirkwood, my lady," Legolas answered softly. He took one of her hands in his. He had started to feel a great affection for Lily in the days that he had been taking care of her. He feel in love with her great beauty, of course. How could he not?"How do you feel?"

"I feel fine," Lily replied as she gazed into his eyes. Her own eyes were now a dark green. That chameleon thing again. How she understood his language is beyond me, as she'd never been out of Eerinyur, er, Eruns, um...whatever that place was. "Oh, you are the one who rescued me! Pray tell, what is your name?" She asked, in a very bad attempt at speaking in a medieval style, which was out of place in Middle Earth anyway. Her stunning black hair with it's blue highlights fell about her face, making her look very innocent and attractive. Yes, I know you already know what her hair looks like, but that was for the people who missed it.

"My name is Legolas," The prince replied with a smile. "Now, you should rest. Do not worry, I will not leave." After all, by this time poor Legolas was already under the Sue's(*cough*) _princess's_ spell.

Lily smiled and closed her golden-yellow hued eyes. She felt safe here. Finding out more could wait until morning. Oh yeah, it was night when that happened, I forgot to say.


	2. Lily's Big Secret

(Disclaimer: Guess what!…Nothing's changed! I'm still not Tolkien, and I still don't own Legolas, Mirkwood, or anything else to do with Middle Earth. Sadly, I do claim full responsibility for Lily and all the other made up stuff. Again…this is humor, people..)

Lily awoke the next morning and saw that Legolas was sitting right by her bed. He must not have moved the entire night, she thought. She smiled at him and sat up slowly. Though she had just woken up, her shimmering black hair with it's violet highlights was just perfect, not one strand out of place. What was that? The highlights were blue before you say? You're crazy...go get your eyes checked. Anyway, Legolas had a troubled look in his pristine azure blue eyes, and certainly Lily immediately noticed this. In fact, she did not have to reply on his looks, as she could sense his worry.

She found that she could sense the feelings of other elves, humans, dwarves, and hobbits alike. Her dragon ancestry gave her the gift of empathy. Of course, her dragon blood was not like that of most dragons of Middle Earth. It came from an entirely different species of dragon, the Canundi, who were a kind, gentle and peace-loving clan. Coincidentally, Lily was the last living descendant of that blood. She was also now the last of her people, as they had all been slain in that horrible battle. This knowledge had come to her in her dreams, and she knew it was true.

Lily had prophetic dreams almost every night. She used her knowledge only to help people, though, Lily would never, ever consider using her powers for her own selfish gain. She did not even tell people about her dreams, if she could help it, for they would certainly become afraid of her great power.

"What is the matter, Legolas?" She asked him, her sweet voice was kind and understanding. She liked the sound of his name on her tongue...It reminded her of a babbling mountain brook, or perhaps of the gentle summer breeze as it had once drifted through the open plains of her old homeland, or some other kind of poetical nonsense like that.

Legolas did not answer at once, because he was completely enthralled by her beauty once again. Yup, by this point he was even more hopelessly besotted. Her pale and flawless skin looked as if it were as soft to the touch as silk. Oh! How he ached just to brush his fingers across it. He took a deep breath, recalling why he was troubled again. Funny how things like saving all of Middle Earth seemed unimportant when he was daydreaming of Lily's...skin.

"I have been called to a council," Legolas answered gravely. "I know not why, only that it concerns the shadow in the east. Messengers came last night." This almost-canonical line promptly caused three readers and the author to faint.

Lily gasped, holding one dainty hand to her mouth for a second before she spoke in a properly princess-like expression of horror. "The shadow! That is what destroyed my home! Sauron was searching for his Ring, and he thought that my father, Royal King of Eerinyahasen, had hidden it from him many years ago. You see, because of my royal and divine bloodline, my family may carry the Ring and it cannot control me. That is why he would think we would have it. You must take me with you to this council, you must! The fate of Middle Earth depends on it!" She cried out in a true show of princessly melodramaticness, her yellow-green eyes bright. In fact, they were so bright that anyone who looked at them directly would probably be blinded for life. 

Now Lily was the only one who could carry the Ring. She was Middle Earth's last hope! I mean, really, a hobbit carrying something like that all the way to Mordor? Absolutely absurd...

What now? Oh, you don't remember that was the reason Eerinya...[*impolite word omitted*] whatevertheheckthenamewas was attacked was because Sauron was looking for his Ring? You haven't been playing attention have you? Ah ha! The truth finally comes out. Now you see _why_ I have to remind you how Lily looks all the time. She really is pretty, and it pains me deeply to think you would forget something so wonderful and important.

"How do you know of all this?" Legolas asked, for once a valid question. This would surely cause the two readers that had not fainted before to do so now. So really the point of going on with this chapter is kinda silly, since everybody who was reading it is now unconscious, but here it is anyway.

"I have foreseen it," Lily said in a low voice, that almost sounded like Darth Sidious from Star Wars except...prettier. Yes, she had psychic powers, and she had seen all that would come to pass if she did not take action. Does she remind you just a bit of Galadriel yet? "So you will take me with you. You must!" She said with finality. By this time she had said "you must" exactly three times in close succession. Her crimson eyes rested on Legolas gently. He did not understand of course, but Lily would help him to see. She brushed a strand of silky ebony hair out of her face for no reason other than to look cute. Her eyes were surprisingly the same shade of yellow-green they had been a moment ago.

Lily could not tell even Legolas her secret. She was, actually, the Chosen One. She carried the fourth elven ring, Ragnarok, the one that was unknown to all the others. Even Sauron did not know of it. Lily knew that she was the Chosen One, as her grandfather, the god Eru, had told her that she was when she had been only four years old. Though she carried one of the great rings of power, she did not know that that was what it was. She thought it only a family heirloom. But she was the Chosen One, so she knew what she had to do. She had to convince Legolas this without telling him her secret. She wanted him to treat her only as a princess, not as a Goddess and the Chosen One. She just wanted to be normal sometimes.

How's _that_ for a plot twist? Lily had indeed twisted canon beyond all belief, but it was for a good reason(Lily is just such a cool character, everybody wants to know about her!). It was almost enough to make the author faint again, just after having been revived from the first incident. Oh, anyway, back to the story.

"No!" Legolas protested as he stood. That sounded alright until he continued. "You are not well enough for such a journey milady. We might encounter all sorts of fell beasts on the way to Rivendell. I could not bear to lose you, my fair Lily!" He said softly. Anyone's guess is as good as mine as to why he called it Rivendell instead of Imladris, as the elves knew it. A faint rosy hue tinted his cheeks as he confessed his reluctance to lose Lily, as he had not meant to say that. He felt unworthy to even look upon such a fair lady. Now, for some reason he was not suspicious of why Lily knew so much about the Ring. Who could ever be suspicious of Lily? One so beautiful and wise would have to be incapable of saying anything that was not pure truth. She was as pure and innocent as her Unicorn and Goddess ancestry, and that is partly why she could carry the Ring with no trouble at all.

"Legolas...," Lily looked sad. "I am sorry, but I must go. If you will not take me, I will follow you," She said defiantly. She had known that Legolas was becoming fond of her, but she was not so sure what to make of it. She really, really wanted to declare her undying love for him right there, but that wouldn't have done much for the story.

"Alright," Legolas gave in rather suddenly and for no apparent reason. This was probably the first documented case ever of an elf saying 'alright'.

Lily smiled and Legolas smiled and then they went to get ready to leave. Whoop-de-do, and to Rivendell we go!

(This chapter came fast didn't it? Well, I was bored, and I got inspired. Thank you to everybody who has reviewed so far! You make me feel all special, warm and fuzzy! I just love reviews. To Infinitys-End…you can have that cookie, because your explanation sounds a lot better than mine((I didn't have one)). Heh. Also there was a question about nunchucks, and since I haven't got anything else to do I shall enlighten all of you! *evil cackling* Nunchucks, or nunchaku, are an ancient Japanese weapon. They were originally used for threshing rice and consisted of two unequal lengths of hardwood connected by a horsehair cord. Modern day nunchaku are constructed of equal lengths of wood, metal or plastic, and are connected with a nylon cord or a length of chain. That's the official description. You want mine? Look at Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(the one in orange^^). He uses them. *grins* I loved that cartoon. Now don't I look smart for explaining all that? ^^ Totally out of place on Middle Earth. Yup. You probably didn't really care about all of that, but there it is anyway. Hee. Like I said, I've got time on my hands. 'Nother cookie up for grabs! Who can spot a really blaring plothole? *grin*)


	3. There's another one?

((Disclaimer: Me no own Tolkien, or his characters, places, etc. Yay. I own all made-up stuff...Again, woo hoo. *grins* Ah, *gives a cookie to anyone who found a plot hole* There were tons of them, cookies! :) Since I seem to be making a habit of giving out cookies...Cookie to whoever counts how many times Lily's horse's name is mentioned in this chapter. Hee...apologies for taking so long with this one...Me is lazy X__x))

"I am ready Legolas," Lily said. She was mounted on her glorious white, sea-green-eyed mare Talatenquetanalia. "Talatenquetanalia is also ready to go. Poor Talatenquetanalia, she has missed me over the days I was so weak, and she is ready to run. We may get to get to Rivendell by nightfall," She said. She managed to say her horse's name twice in the span of four seconds, which is an incredible feat. Of course, there was no way they would be able to get to Imladris that fast, unless they took a jet plane, but hey, work with me here.

Legolas was mounted on his own steed, a huge, strong black stallion named 'Blackie.' "Are you sure that you are ready to go?" He asked her worriedly. It was a bit odd how Lily had been bedridden the day before, and now she was ready to go for a...short ride. She's a Princess, and Daughter of the Gods, though, you should keep that in mind.

"Of course I am. Uuma dela((don't worry))," Lily replied confidently, using perfectly stellar 'elvin'. She looked as beautiful as ever, mounted on her magnificent dazzling white mare(Talatenquetanalia), her long silver hair glimmering in the sunlight, and her deep cerulean blue eyes sparkling. The whole sight was enough to blind most people. And yes, her hair was silver before, too. She was a true Princess of Eer-

"Eerinyahasen, you will be avenged." Yeah, what she said. This statement was rather out of place and vague, but Legolas didn't seem to mind. In fact, whenever he was not directly complimenting Lily's beauty or expressing concern over he, he seemed to be rather quiet. Maybe Lily's Ring of Power [Sue-power *coughcough*], was beginning to lose it's effect on him. Still, Lily's enchanting beauty was enough to keep him in a zombie-like state. Interesting thing to see in an elf, that.

And so they rode out of Mirkwood. Notice, no mention whatsoever of Legolas's father. Thranduil was out...um...on a vacation or something, and the rest of the elves there didn't do anything important, so they're not mentioned.

They rode for a while(two days, or two minutes? take a guess...), but at one point the road grew very dark, and overhead clouds were swirling, and flashes of lightning were seen. Lily looked up and frowned.

"I sense something odd...," She declared, and so won the Obvious Statement of the Year Award for the fifth consecutive time. A blind warg would have been able to figure that one out.

Legolas had his bow and an arrow ready, fearing some kind of evil.

Little did he know that the evil about to be brought on him wasn't too unlike that he was already consumed by.

Out of absolutely nowhere, a figure suddenly appeared on the road. The clouds went back to normal, and the sun came out, and all the little forest creatures went on about their merry way. At least, the ones that weren't following and worshipping Lily like the Daughter of the Goddess that she was...Namely the uglier ones.

She was short, and she had fiery red hair and emerald green eyes that glittered dangerously with a rebellious fire, yes, lots of fire references. She was wearing a tight black t-shirt, which of course showed just a bit of skin at the bottom, and even more at the top and baggy black jeans and was carrying a small backpack, overall she looked like your typical teenager from Earth, except that, of course, she was staggeringly beautiful, but in a very...fiery...way. She was armed with only a sword, though Eru knows where she got that, but she leapt up and glared at Legolas. Lily of course, was not glared at by anybody, mortal or immortal. She merely watched with a very princessly-surprised look.

"Who are you?" The strange girl demanded of Legolas and strode forward as if she were going to attack him. Legolas stared at her, shocked. Somehow, she made herself threatening enough to elicit an answer out of the elf.

"My name is Legolas, and this is Princess Lily," He said and gestured to the lady elf who was watching the girl thoughtfully. "Lle anta amin tu?((Do you need help?))" Though the golden-haired prince was perfectly polite, the girl didn't seem to notice, or care. In fact, he might as well have insulted her, as he would probably have gotten the same reaction.

"I don't need anyone's help," The girl sneered, but looked to Lily and nodded. "Oh...my name is Shadow," She added with another annoyed look at Legolas.

Just then someone else stepped out of the bushes. Low and behold, it was a Ranger. Not just any Ranger, of course, but it was Aragorn, son of Arathorn. He had his sword out, and anybody with good sense would have been rather intimidated. Exactly why he was there, and how, is anyone's guess, but a Ranger with a sword is still a Ranger with a sword.

"Aragorn," Legolas called out. "Be careful."

The girl with the sword, of course, didn't look one bit impressed. "Hah! You think you could hurt me with that sword? I'd like to see you try," She said and stared at Aragorn defiantly.

Aragorn looked confused, but sheathed his sword. "Legolas, who is this? And...her?" He gazed at Lily.

"This is Lily, Princess of a forgotten Elven Kingdom," Legolas said as he nodded to Lily, skillfully avoiding having to say that horrid name again, much to everyone's glee. "And I do not know who this is...She says her name is Shadow." He continued to watch Shadow, his deep blue eyes troubled.

Aragorn bowed politely to Lily, and then gave Shadow a long look. "A pleasure to meet a friend of Legolas's. My name is Aragorn. Shadow, if I may ask, what land do you come from? Your clothes are very odd in appearance..." He was acting almost normal, as he had not been under the effects of the lovely Princess Lily for very long, like Legolas had. Unfortunately, this Shadow would have much the same effect. 

"I come from Earth," Shadow declared defiantly. "I know all about you, Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You all are going to Rivendell, right? Well, I'm going too. You'll need me." Shadow was the perfect image of the rebellious and fiery young girl, also perfectly capable of beating any man in combat. Besides, _she_ knew what was going to happen, because she had seen "The Fellowship of the Ring" twice, so that made her practically an expert.

Legolas was about to protest when Lily held up one hand to silence him. 

"No, it's fine. She should come too," Lily smiled at Shadow. "Come, you can ride with me. Talatenquetanalia will let you if I ask her to." Lily of course knew who Shadow was, where she came from, and whatnot, and she also knew that she would be of a lot of help in the time to come. She sensed a good deal of Fire Magick in the girl, too, and that was a very rare thing. Shadow was indeed one of Destiny.

Shadow gave Aragorn one last glare before she strode over to jump up onto the horse's back. She might have grown up on Earth, but she was really from Middle Earth, though she didn't know it. She was the youngest daughter of Elrond [*pause while the Author revives from convulsions*], whom only he knew about. How that was possible, you ask? Well, don't, because you probably don't want to know, but will learn anyway later. She had been transported to Earth when she was a baby. Aragorn was immediately fascinated with her. She was as beautiful as, if not more so, than Arwen. Of course, she was nothing compared to Lily, but Lily was obviously only interested in Legolas. Aragorn might have been handsome, and destined to be King and all that, but he was mortal. Besides, Legolas was a Prince, and he would certainly become a King, too, sooner or later.

Anyway, Shadow acted very arrogant, but she was truly a kind and loving person at heart. She just had a hard time showing it, of course. She was as good a warrior as Aragorn himself. What man wouldn't love a girl who could out-do him at swordplay and archery? Aragorn was deeply struck with admiration for her, but he would not say anything of it.

Now what about Arwen though? That was indeed a dilemma.

So Aragorn went to ride with Legolas on Blackie, and they were off to Rivendell again. At this point they were out of Mirkwood, and almost to Rivendell, probably somewhere in Rohan now(Fast ride wasn't it?). Soon they would come to the Council, and meet Lord Elrond, and the fate of Middle Earth would be decided.


	4. I feel sorry for Boromir

(Disclaimer: I do not own Middle Earth, nor the canon characters, places, etc. May Tolkien's ghost have mercy on me for this. Hehe, by the way, the horse was mentioned five times. :) The conclusion will be next, and I'll have it up really soon. I'm really excited about it, hehe.)

Things were peaceful in Rivendell. Big surprise there, I know, but this time it was destined not to last very long. 

If you may recall, the beautiful princess Lily and Legolas started out from Mirkwood to arrive at the Council of Elrond, and they were met by Shadow, a mysterious and fiery girl from a different world, yet with an unusual origin, and none other than Strider, or Aragorn - heir to the throne of Gondor.

Now, you may ask, what about the hobbits? Strider was supposed to meet them in Bree and lead them to Imladris. Well, yes, but as you can see, things have been changed around a bit. Makes things interesting. Anyway, here comes the answer to your question now!

In a quiet room in Rivendell, Frodo slept peacefully. Strangely, Sam was nowhere to be seen, and instead, someone else was sitting by the bed and watching the sleeping hobbit.

At first glance, you might have thought this was also a hobbit. She(yes, of course she) was the right height, being just an inch shorter than Frodo himself. She was different, though. She had long, perfectly beautiful golden hair that fell to her waist, and sparkling violet eyes. She was very slender and very beautiful. One strange thing about her was her feet. Unlike most hobbits, she had small, dainty, hairless feet. The truth was, she had fairy blood in her family, so she was very unusually beautiful.

After calling her beautiful three times, I think you get the point. Anyway, she was wearing traveling clothes, though of course she looked very cute in them. It was then that Frodo woke up and blinked several times.

"Hello, Frodo," The hobbit-fairy-thing said with a sparkling smile. "It is good to see you awake."

"Serena," Frodo recognized the brave hobbit-lass who had come with them from the Shire. She had led them from Bree, and through the wilds, and had even rescued Frodo from the Nazgul. When Frodo had needed to get to Rivendell so quickly, Serena had ridden on Frodo with Asfaloth, to make sure that he would make it, leaving Glorfindel to travel with the rest of the hobbits. Since you all know that Asfaloth was Glorfindel's horse, not Arwen's, if you read the books. ("Their hard to read, but their soooo kewls!1!!")

"Where is Sam?" Frodo asked, looking confused.

Serena smiled. "Do not worry. I told him to go rest, because I would watch you. Gandalf will be in to talk with you soon, too." She nodded. Gandalf knew her well, of course. Serena was almost like a pupil of his, as she had been learning magic from him since she had been a child. Her parents had been killed when she was only three, so she had left the Shire to live in Rivendell, but she traveled with Gandalf a lot. She had come to help Frodo and his friends when she learned of what had happened to Gandalf.

"Gandalf? Where has he been?" Frodo asked eagerly, but Serena just patted his arm gently.

"Don't worry, here he comes. He'll explain everything to do. I have to go speak to Lord Elrond now. There is much going on in Rivendell." She leaned over to lightly kiss Frodo on the cheek before she flitted(fairy-like, remember) on out of the room. Frodo looked after her with a stunned expression. It was then that Gandalf came in, and Frodo was distracted from thinking about the pretty, brave hobbit-lass for a while.

It was then that two horses came galloping into the courtyard of Rivendell. One was black, and the other pure white. Yup, you guessed it...Blackie, Talatenquetanalia, and their riders. Lily dismounted first, and looked around with a slight smile. Rivendell was certainly beautiful. Nothing like her old home of...Eer..um...whatever, but still pretty. She turned to Legolas, her raven hair shining in the evening light quite prettily itself.

"We should go to speak to Elrond now," She said as she patted Talatenquetanalia's nose. As you can imagine, even after that long ride, Lily looked absolutely perfect. Not one jet black hair was out of place, and her azure blue eyes were just as bright and sparkling as ever.

Legolas nodded. "We should before the Council starts. It won't be long until it does," the graceful blonde prince commented as his dismounted as well. After Aragorn got off, he handed Blackie to a stable hand who had come to take the horses. 

Aragorn was already starting for the stairs, uncharacteristically silent. Shadow, on the other hand, snorted loudly. Talatenquetanalia, of course, needed no one to tend to her. She merely walked off to graze peacefully while her mistress went inside.

"Bah. Council meeting? I might go to it, but I'm not going to sit around for too long. I'll catch up with you guys later, I want to look around."

This loud and high arrogant comment came from Shadow, of course. After this declaration, she whirled and stalked off, almost daring anyone to argue with her. Aragorn watched her go, but he did not argue. He had already learned that was pointless. Legolas merely shrugged. Shadow was an odd mortal, but since Lily seemed to like her well enough, he did too.

So while the beautiful princess, prince, and future King of Gondor went to go meet the Lord of Imladris, Shadow had her own places to go. A couple of hours passed...

She had been wandering around for a while when she met a man in one of the gardens. He was merely standing and looking around, deep in thought. He had deep auburn hair and light gray eyes, and he was wearing fine clothes of Gondorian design. Shadow, of course, had no respect for the silence. She walked right up to him.

"Hey, you're Boromir, aren't you?" She asked casually.

The man looked startled as he turned to look at the fiery-haired girl. "Yes, I am," He replied finally, wondering how this stranger knew. His eyes narrowed as he noticed the odd dress of this girl. Her tight black shirt and baggy black pants weren't something one saw every day, in Gondor or Rivendell. "Who are you?" 

"My name isn't any of your business, but most people call me Shadow," Shadow said with a smirk.

"You carry a sword," Boromir pointed out. "Why? You are a woman. Women do not use such weapons," He scoffed. This was not such a unreasonable announcement, as most women in Middle Earth don't carry around swords. Of course, according to the logic in use here, that was a very pig-headed comment.

Shadow's emerald eyes flashed dangerously. "Oh? Why not? I bet I could beat you, if I wanted to."

"We could see about that," Boromir drew his own sword. You can probably imagine now that this entirely pointless and very unfair little sparring match was doomed from the start for poor Boromir.

"Fine," Shadow snapped. Boromir leapt forward to attack, but Shadow skillfully deflected his sword, and before Boromir could react, she hit the hilt of his sword and knocked it out of his hands. How exactly she accomplished this is beyond my mere mortal imagination, so you'll just have to trust me on that. She held her blade to his neck for a moment, just long enough for him to realize what had happened. She then pulled back and laughed.

Boromir scowled and then bent to pick up his own sword. This "Shadow" obviously had some sort of witchcraft to be able to do something like that. Poor Boromir, as indeed, this was the case. Of course, this was a different kind of magic than he had ever imagined. He decided immediately that he did not like this odd girl, clad in strangle clothes, and who spoke in a very peculiar manner.

Shadow frowned as she heard something that sounded almost like a stifled growling and rustling coming from the bushes just over to the side. It stopped abruptly with only a slight rustle of leaves. She shrugged, deciding that it had been a squirrel or something.

"Well, that'll teach you to assume someone's weak just because they're a girl," Shadow said to Boromir as she sheathed her sword. She then resumed her completely aimless wandering, heading off back down the path from which she had come.

It was then that a bell rang somewhere in Imladris. Boromir recognized this as the signal that the Council was going to start soon. Muttering a little to himself, he also headed down the path. He was completely unaware of the fact that two shadows followed him more-or-less quietly.


	5. And they all lived happily ever after

((Disclaimer: I don't own Tolkien's stuff *bounce* People, places, whatnot *bounce* Um, all the stupid made up stuff is mine, sadly. I must thank Kippur, 'Wen, and Bodldops('Ro) for their help of various kinds, and also to everybody who's reviewed and/or shared comments on this. *grins and bounces* Without further delay, the much-awaited conclusion to my little parody. ^_^))

It was finally time for the Council of Elrond. Everyone was present, Elrond himself, of course, Erestor, Glorfindel, and the other councilors, Galdor from the Grey Havens, various dwarves including Gimli, the humans from Gondor and Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf, and of course Legolas, the prince from Mirkwood, and Aragorn.

There were three unusual members, however.

One was an elf. Tall, slender, and beautiful, she had to be a princess. Her long black hair fell about her shoulders, and her silver eyes were intent on the faces of those around her. She was clad in white tunic and breeches and she sat next to Legolas. Visible on her hand was a beautiful silvery ring.

Just as she sat down, she jumped back up and turned around, confused. She picked up a small, very prickly bramble off of her seat and frowned. Who had put that there? She shrugged elegantly and sat down again.

Another sat on the other side of Aragorn. She had flaming red hair and blazing emerald eyes, and wore baggy black jeans and a tight black spaghetti-strap shirt. She was also slender, but she was not an elf, not all elf anyway. She was a long-lost daughter of Elrond. You see, her mother, a mortal, had also come to Middle Earth, a long time ago, and had fallen in love with Elrond before he'd met Celebrian. In the Last Alliance, though, Shadow's mother had been killed. Elrond was stricken with grief, and had decided that he would have to send Shadow away, somewhere she could live safely. Gandalf had transported her to Earth, but she'd never quite fit in there. Her foster parents never understood her, and she hated it. She had vague memories of Middle Earth, and Elrond, but once she had come, she had begun to remember her past. She was quiet about it though, because she was still bitter at being sent away. How could her father do that to her?

In other words, she was pouting and being her generally snotty self. She sat with her arms crossed and a foul expression on her face.

The third was perhaps the most odd of all. She was a hobbit-fairy hybrid, who had long golden hair and violet eyes. She was small and dainty, but she was very powerful with her magic. She was sitting next to Frodo and Gandalf, and she had a very wise expression, as if she already knew what was going to happen. She was currently picking yet another rubber band out of her hair. It was the fifth one, and she wasn't quite sure what they were, nor where they were coming from, but they were starting to get annoying...

Elrond had been watching the council members, a slight frown on his face. He could feel that something was distinctly wrong here, and it was not the Ring. His own Ring, Vilya, gave him a bit more clarity of mind than the rest of the poor, hapless members of Middle Earth. Shadow was of a particular oddity to him. He had these memories that he felt were certainly not his.

He shook it off. He had a Council to focus on, after all.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old..." He began.

The Council went on fairly normally from there, in perfect movie-verse. Boromir suggested using the Ring, Aragorn interjected, Gimli tried to hack on the Ring with his axe, and so on. The trouble started when Frodo declared that he would take the Ring to Mordor, an after Gandalf said that he would guide him.

"You should not have to carry this burden alone," Lily announced and went to stand with Frodo gracefully. "I will help you," She smiled at the hobbit in what was supposed to be a kindly way.

"You have my bow," Legolas told Frodo, as he followed Lily to stand with the hobbit.

"You have my sword," Aragorn told Frodo. Then Shadow hopped up.

"Mine too," She said and shot Elrond a defiant look, in case he tried to argue. Elrond, meanwhile, was still looking faintly disturbed, but he did not interfere.

"And you have my axe," Gimli said, joining the group. He gave the elves a wary look, but said nothing more.

"You bear the fate of us all, little one," Boromir said as he walked over, delivering his lines flawlessly. "If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."

"Frodo can't go without me!" Serena trotted over to Frodo's side and grinned at him. "I've protected him this far, I'm not going to leave him now."

Elrond looked around at the ones who had assembled. There were nine of them, which was the proper number, but...

Just then, Sam came running in.

"Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me, either," Sam said as he arrived.

"We're coming too!" Merry and Pippin came out of their hiding places.

This came to twelve now. Elrond was now highly perplexed, but sighed.

"So be it, you shall be the Fellowship of the Ring," He said.

And so it was. In the morning, yes, in the morning the Fellowship assembled, and set off with a proper farewell from Elrond and the rest of the elves. Arwen was conspicuously absent, as she'd had a spectacular fight with Aragorn the night after the Council, and declared that she never wanted to see him again. So the Fellowship set off, including Lily's horse, certainly. Aragorn was in quite a mood, and he spent most of the time watching Shadow as they started down the narrow path from Rivendell. Shadow was pointedly ignoring him. Legolas was walking right beside Lily and her horse, and Serena was in the front with Frodo.

Talatenquetanalia was watching the valley below, and snorting to herself softly as she walked. The horse happened to be very scared of heights, and the narrow path was making her very nervous.

Lily, in fact, did not notice. One might have observed that Frodo did not have the Ring. Lily did. Just after they had left, Lily had offered to hold it for him for a while. To everyone's shock and surprise, she had been able to hold the Ring quite easily. It ha no effect on her at all. So she was holding onto the Ring, secured on it's chain. For some reason, no one really objected to this.

They had just come around a tight turn on the path when they found that the way was blocked. Two tall, strong-looking orcs, uruk-hai, really, stood on the path calmly. For a moment, the Fellowship stared at them, and they stared back. Finally, one of the orcs stepped forward.

Instead of attacking, he spoke.

"Hello everyone. You, Lily," He pointed one finger at Lily. "And Serena," He moved on to the fair-hobbit. "And..." He paused and looked around. Shadow was nowhere to be seen.

"What happened to the other one?" He asked his companion.

The orc shrugged, a very odd thing for an orc. "We'll find her later. Get on with it."

"Easy Talatenquetanalia," Lily tried to calm her horse. The mare was already upset because of the height and now the orcs' presence was enough to drive her nearly mad, and so now she was prancing about very nervously.

"Gesundheit," one of the orcs said helpfully.

"No, that's the name of the horse," The other corrected.

"Oh...right," The other uruk-hai nodded. "Well, anyway, we-"

The uruk was cut off then by a wild war-cry. Both of uruk-hai turned to see none other than Shadow, leaping towards them from behind. She had obviously snuck off as soon as they had appeared and gotten behind them. Without a word, they both too a step aside, and Shadow went tumbling right between them and as she tripped, rather amazingly managed to impale herself on her own sword. She fell, dead, right at the feet of the already startled horse.

The white mare whinnied, highly distressed. Unfortunately for Lily, Talatenquetanalia stumbled over the fallen Shadow. Meanwhile, Serena had pushed by the rest of the Fellowship and the two uruk-hai to try to calm down the horse with a spell of some kind. It was far too late for that, however. Talatenquetanalia teetered dangerously on the edge of the path for one moment before she slipped off, taking Lily, Shadow, and Serena with her.

A couple of seconds, and a few sickening crashes later, the two uruk-hai peered over the edge of the path, down at the bottom of the valley where one very dead elf, half-elf, hobbit, and horse now resided.

"What a _stupid_ way to die," one commented, but he sounded very amused.

"I guess this has been a waste of time, but we'll be laughing over that one for a while," the other replied with a grin. Both then seemed to remember that the entire Fellowship was standing behind them. The two orcs turned around slowly, and glanced at each other, and then at the confused group before them.

"Erm....hello," the first Uruk-hai said...cheerfully, while the other carefully picked up the chain on which the Ring resided(Lily had dropped it just before she fell) and handed it to a still-stunned Frodo. "I think that you're supposed to have this," the orc told him, and then turned to his companion. "Come on, we'd better get going before they snap out of it."

"Aw...alright. Um, carry on, then," the first orc nodded to the Fellowship, and the two abruptly turned and began walking down the path, heading for the valley floor.

Frodo blinked and looked at the Ring that now dangled listlessly from the chain in his hand. The Ring...Bilbo's Ring...the One Ring that he had to see destroyed. It was all coming back to him now. Memories of the three extra Fellowship members faded almost in an instant. He gazed around at his eight companions, all whom looked a bit dazed, but back to normal otherwise. Bill snorted from the back, seeming to be wondering what the delay was, and this completely broke the stillness. Gandalf muttered something indistinct to himself, and led the way, Aragorn and Frodo and others followed behind. 

All was back to normal in Middle Earth. There was no Eerinyahasen, or Princess Nerinel Lonna Nuyredra Starsong, a.k.a. 'Lily', nor was there a forgotten daughter of Elrond, named Shadow. No hobbit named Serena who was part fairy...No extra Ring of power, no unicorns and no horses named Talatenquetanalia. Their likeness was never seen again...

Until the next rabid fangirl wrote her first fanfic.


End file.
